Don't Call It a Come Back...

...call it a relapse. Or just call it a blog posting after nearly 8 months of complete silence. Perhaps the brevity of Fbook status updates just finally became too constrictive for me. Maybe I just have way too much time on my hands at work. Either way I'm back on the interwebz, stealin' ur sitez, with plans to post with far more regularity this time. So come on gorgeous, whataya say? Give me one more chance, for old time's sake?

Awww, I knew you'd forgive me. See? It's like we never parted, so why don't we just pick up right where we left off?



ROCKNROLLA: I'm a tad impressed. Ritchie actually had a touch of decency and talent left in him. A few quick notes: Ritchie tries (and fails) to add a strong central female to his usual cast of Limey low-lifes and shady characters, something completely absent in LOCK STOCK and SNATCH. Stella (Thandie Newton) ends up as eye-candy with an attitude, nothing more. Gerard Butler as One Two carries his weight as the leading man but the character wasn't written with much depth to begin with, and he is often overshadowed by the performance of Idris Elba (of THE WIRE fame, aka: Stringer Bell) as sidekick Mumbles. The real show-stealer is Toby Kebbell as Johnny Quid, the crack addicted character of titular relevance.



Those not familiar with Toby Kebbell would be savvy to check out the indie Brit sleeper DEAD MAN'S SHOES (Dir: Shane Meadows), starring Kebbell and Paddy Considine, one of the most beautiful, sad and frightening films that I have ever seen. Sadly, it is almost a complete unknown Stateside. While I'm more than tempted to digress into a rant about the merits of Shane Meadows, Paddy Considine, and why you're a fool for not going out and seeing DEAD MAN'S SHOES this very instant, I will instead settle for the gruesome still above and the brief trailer below.

Mama said knock you out,

~Z

Guy Ritchie bouncing back? Maybe...

Could it be? Could the Great Britian gospel of gangster still have some gasps of life and garner some gold under the direction of godfather Guy?

It's been 10 years since Ritchie and producer Matthew Vaughn brought a new face to the British Crime dramedy genre with LOCK STOCK AND TWO SMOKING BARRELS, the low budget film that launched the once-promising careers of Jason Statham and Vinnie Jones, and Guy Ritchie as a young and innovative director. When Ritchie and Vaughn followed two years later with SNATCH, making their first big splash in the US market, the sky seemed to be the limit.

Enter Madonna and SWEPT AWAY. It seems that Guy's creativity and career was to go way of the title. He and Matthew Vaughn parted ways (a good move on Vaughn's party, who went on to produce and direct LAYER CAKE). Ritchie took another shot at the British Crime caper with REVOLVER, but missed horribly. Most of you probably have never even heard of REVOLVER as it had an extremely limited release Stateside after garnering low box-office numbers and atrocious reviews during it's domestic UK release (I had been living in London during it's release in 2005, and I must say that Jason Statham with long hair is just not a good look).



It seemed that Ritchie was through. Without Vaughn at his side as producer, his return to familiar territory had failed with REVOLVER. But now, three years later, Ritchie is back with ROCKNROLLA, another highly stylized, heavily postured Limey gangster flick, but from the reaction at festival screenings, this one might actually not be a stinker.

If ROCKNROLLA succeeds at coming at all close to the popularity of SNATCH, Ritchie will certainly be back on top of his game. The industry seems to have some faith in the return of Ritchie, as he's been picked up to direct the 2010 release of SHERLOCK HOLMES, a script which he also penned. No, this is not the 'other' 2010 Sherlock project staring Sacha Baron-Cohen as Holmes and Will Ferrel as Watson. Ritchie's SHERLOCK will be an action-thriller flick staring Robert Downey Jr. as Holmes and Jude Law as a less-than-bumbling Dr. Watson.

So, is Ritchie's career back on track? Possibly. But I'm holding my breath until this weekend when ROCKNROLLA hits US theaters.

CAPRICA, spin-off movie or prequel series?

The BATTLESTAR GALACTICA franchise continues to flourish since Ronald D. Moore and David Eick's 'reimagining' of the series in 2004. What initially began as a four part mini-series has now grown into one of the most critically acclaimed sci fi dramas of our generation (and without a doubt the best thing to ever grace the Sci Fi Channel's lineup).

A prequel movie event, entitled CAPRICA, has been in the works for some time now and is slated for release in December. It centers around the conflict between two families, the famed Adamas on one side, who are ideologically pitted against the Graystones. From what we can tell from rumors and the bits of leaked information, the Graystones' will become the creators of the first humanoid Cylons. Aesthetically, CAPRICA will be even more retro than BATTLESTAR before it, giving it a distinctly 50's look. The aesthetic allusion to our own 1950s has strong thematic implications, lending the 'loss of innocence' of our own invention of the atomic bomb to the Caprican's invention of Cylon technology (which eventually becomes their own doomsday device). The show seemingly also centers around Philip K. Dick-esq issues of identity and definitions of humanity, and also seems to have a sensibility that lends itself to 1997's GATTACA.

The teaser trailer for CAPRICA was released recently, check it out below:


The question is; will CAPRICA be solely a prequel BATTLESTAR movie, such as RAZOR? Or will it develop into a full fledged spin-off series?


Like RAZOR before it, which told the (slightly) prequel-ish story of the Battlestar Pegasus following the Cylon attacks on the 12 Colonies, both it and CAPRICA are stories of inevitable doom. In RAZOR, we already know that the chief officers of the Pegasus will be killed off (sooner rather than later) to make way for the Galactica crew and plot-line. Likewise, in CAPRICA, we know that eventually the Cylon uprising must occur and doomsday will arrive. However, with a story like CAPRICA, we have at least 50 years and a generation of characters for breathing room, more than enough space for a series.

Industry rumors would support this. CAPRICA began casting in May and went into production in June. By July, it was reported that they had already ordered two additional CAPRICA scripts from former BATTLESTAR writers and even one from a former BATTLESTAR writer's assistant (good for you, Ryan Mottesheard!) The general consensus is that things are looking good, and a full CAPRICA series will be green-lit shortly before the movie/pilot airs in December.

In other news, I need to get a job at NBC-Universal and try to ride this franchise into a career in quality sci fi dramas. ...Yeah, and after that I'll become JJ Ambrams protege and Executive Produce the future STAR TREK franchise with Bad Robot ...in a perfect world, maybe.

BLADE RUNNER sequel being penned by clueless industry hack

To Travis Wright; KINDLY GO FUCK THYSELF. Rick Deckard (Harrison Ford) is pissed, just look at him.

So EAGLE EYE is #1 with a weekend gross that beat NIGHTS OF RODANTHE and LAKEVIEW TERRACE. Big fucking deal. That hardly qualifies as the credentials necessary to improve a timeless Sci Fi masterpiece (and if you don't plan on improving on it, than don't bother even fucking touching it).

Now here's me quoting I WATCH STUFF, quoting SLASH FILM:

It's apparently being done in association with Blade Runner co-executive producer Bud Yorkin but without prior studio approval. From [Slash]Film:

“I recently attended a Q&A session with one of the writers of ‘Eagle Eye’ after a free screening organized by the magazine Creative Screenwriting. During the Q&A, the writer said that he and whomever it was that helped him co-write the ‘Eagle Eye’ screenplay were in the process of writing a sequel to Blade Runner, and had already contacted the producers of the original, etc., etc.

Wright's co-writer John Glenn has already disavowed himself of the project, which is smart considering everyone will hate whoever does this. It feels like some stranger coming in and trying to re-marry your divorced parent, and then you find out that stranger is writing a screenplay for Blade Runner 2. "Sorry, Mom, but you're marrying an asshole."

I WATCH STUFF writer, I love you. Really, I do.

And I think that might have been my highest count of f-bombs in a post thus far. I really am that upset by this.

Update: Almodovar's Noir(ish) 'Broken Embraces'

According to Variety's coverage of the production, much the of the "shadowy look" of 'BROKEN EMBRACES' was "inspired by a series of migraines that rendered [Almodovar] ultra-sensitive to bright lights."

Thank you migraines.

Plastic Surgery Collides; Sparks Fly

Recently, Michael Jackson and Pamela Anderson have been out on a few "dates" and are apparently hitting it off.

WHAT THE FUCK???!!!

Read about it here from people who care a helluva lot more about this kind of bullshit than I do.

But while I'm at it, check out this computer generated pic of what Michael Jackson probably would have looked like at 50 if he hadn't completely fucking lost his mind and mutilated himself into some bizarre Audrey Hepburn/Liz Taylor freak-bot monster-thing that feeds on fetal stem-cells.

Almodovar to make Noir(ish) film. Blogger says "fuck yeah!"

Penelope Cruz, who earned an Oscar Nomination on her last outing with Almodovar ('VOLVER', 2006), is attached to the new project titled 'BROKEN EMBRACES' (or 'ABRAZOS ROTOS').

According to the Hollywood Reporter today, the film, which Almodovar also penned, will be "in the style of a hard-boiled, '50s American film noir." To which I say, HELL FUCKING YES!!

It'll be just like DOUBLE INDEMNITY (Billy Wilder, 1944), except Neff and Keyes will be openly gay and boning on screen, and Phyllis will probably turn out to be a tranny named Phil. And they're all addicted to heroin. AND, one of them is trying to get a Double Indemnity Clause out of an AIDS death. ...on a train, or something. EITHER WAY IT'S GAY! Oh, the drama.....



Seriously though, I'm stoked. The idea that Almodovar (a true master of melodrama, betrayal, twisted identity conflicts, and also a man with what I consider to be one of the greatest aesthetic touches of any living [and working] director,) is creating an American Noir influenced film gives me new-found reason to wish that I worked in film and not the soul-sucking television industry.